101 Reasons I Don't Want Kids

2010-01-06T17:36:00.001-08:00

"Why wouldn't I want kids?" You may ask. "They are such a glorious natural part of life." Seriously!? Stop seeming so dumbfounded when I say I NEVER want children. Here is a list dedicated to this personal decision. I hope both the supporters and deniers find it compelling.

1. I will have: more time to develop a career

2. More time/$ for travel

3. More time for my partner

4. Less strain on my relationship

5. More time for exercise

6. More time to develop hobbies

7. I can party till I die

8. I will never have to worry about getting a babysitter when I want to go out

9. I will have A LOT more freedom

10. I won't have to "grow up"

11. I won't have to be responsible for someone else's life 24/7

12. I can donate more time/$ to more charitable causes

13. Ever heard of overpopulation??

14. My vag won't get stretched out

15. I will not have to endure the difficulties of pregnancy

16. I will not have to endure the pain of labor

17. I do not have to risk scarring from potential C-section

18. I do not have to risk getting stretch marks

19. I do not have to lose (or not lose) "baby weight"

20. If you break up with your partner, you don't have to worry about maintaining a relationship with them in order to raise your children together

21. "Child-rearing" is one of the top 3 topics couples argue about--so, less arguments

22. I can focus on developing a relationship with my partner, rather than with children (i.e. more satisfying relationship)

23. I believe a person should be passionate, prepared, and 100% devoted to having children. Since I am not those things, it would be reckless to have children

24. I do not look at a baby and think "oh how cute" like I do when I see a puppy.

25. We live in a society where masculinity is valued, thus child-rearing is highly UNDERVALUED

26. Women having children perpetuates patriarchy in society (less time for education/career)

27. I do not believe in progressing through the steps of "the American dream" which inevitably includes reproducing

28. I do not believe the desire to "pass on your genes" is a good enough reason to have children. Nor do I have this desire.

29. I do not have to worry about any medical or legal troubles a hypothetical child could get into

30. No diaper changing necessary

31. The sound of a crying/whiny child is profusely irritating to me and does not elicit the least of my sympathy

32. If I took the money I would spend on a child every year and put it towards an amazing vacation, imagine how great life would be

33. I will naturally have a lot less stress in my life

34. I will never get left at home with "the kids" when my partner is "on business" or "out with the guys"

35. I want to protest the assumption that everyone should be having children in order to be "fulfilled" in life

36. People are having way too many fucking babies! Poverty, crime?? These things would go down if people stopped popping them out!

37. I can have more sex--more time, & do not have to worry about being discrete w/ children in house

38. Do not have to clean up after little shits--I have a hard enough time cleaning up after myself

39. I can keep a flat stomach (most women keep the post-pregnancy pooch even if they are skinny)

40. Let me emphasize again: I will save myself ridiculous oodles of time & money which will drastically increase my quality of life

41. I can go out to eat more & be more experimental with my cooking (with extra time/money /energy)

42. Any supposed "nurturing instinct" I might have is fulfilled by taking care of other people in my life

43. I can go back to school...any time I want...there is a reason why more educated women have less children

44. I dislike the identity of being a "mother"

45. My career and relationship with my partner rank #1, those are my values...not child rearing

46. I am not a stereotypical female, nor do I want to behave like one

47. I just don't get it!!! Why? Why would I do something I don't want to do, don't have to do, and don't understand!?

48. If I ever have a desire to interact with or help children, this can be easily done without having my own

49. To me and many others, women with children are "tainted" & have lost their sex appeal. I want to keep my sex appeal.

50. When I die I can leave my money to charity/research, rather than to offspring

51. No morning sickness

52. Won't have to worry about "fucking up" my kids

53. Won't have to resent kids for the things I can't do in my life like many parents do (whether overtly or covertly)

54. The Bible encourages people to "be fruitful & multiply." I don't believe in the Bible nor do I subscribe to any of the many religions that encourage rearing children

55. I have to keep my other childfree friends company while the rest of our peers lead boring family lives

56. Having children is the biggest commitment anyone can ever make, the hugest decision of their lives!! I do not take it lightly like so many do! I will never be ready for such a commitment as far as I can see.

57. The "biological clock" argument is a poor one, for a few reasons.
--more intelligent people are more able to override biological urges/tendencies. I
like to think of myself as "intelligent"

--the majority of people who have fallen prey to "biological urges", who
supposedly "didn't want kids" were more INDIFFERENT to the idea, not
adamantly against it, like I am. Most think very little about their lack of desire
to have children, whereas I think about it all the time. Just because you
know someone who "didn't want kids and now has them," that is no reason to
doubt me.

--Not EVERYONE has a ticking biological clock that is bound to explode

58. I derive great pride/joy from the fact that I will never have to coerce an unwilling man into "starting a family" before he is ready (GAG ME WITH A SPOON)

59. I am lucky enough to have found a man who will never do the same to me (i.e. pressure me to have children)

60. I think it will be funny to be kidfree when all the men who declared "oh ALL women want children eventually" (in response to my stance of having ZERO children), have little shits of their own. Meanwhile I'll be living it up with my barren uterus sipping cocktails & traveling the world. You narrow minded fucks!!! You're the ones who want babies. Oh how mighty masculine of you! Luckily for you, you can just blame it on your wife, that stupid nurturing bitch! (yes, this is my #1 pet peeve of many of my male friends/acquaintances)

61. I literally think of why I do not want to have children every day! It is central to my identity.

62. Even as a young child I knew I didn't want children. Just as I always knew I was an atheist. These decisions were made on my own, rather than being imposed upon me. Therefore they are much more meaningful and well-thought out.

63. I will get an abortion if need-be. Many people who "do not want children" cannot say the same.

64. Sorry, but I can't give up caffeine & alcohol for 9 months straight. Oh add in a year or two for breast feeding.

65. More & more women are choosing not to have children. There are good reasons for this. Society is changing. I am not alone in this choice :)

66. When someone tells me they are having a baby, I get a deep feeling of dread, and sometimes disgust. Saying "congratulations" often feels very forced. Does this response sound like the one of a person who will one day want children!? This response has some unfortunate social consequences (as everyone expects that you will "oo and ah" over their baby/pregnancy). I just try to remember that they are happy with their choice.

67. My mom is a fantastic, devoted mother who genuinely enjoys being a mom. I can't live up to that, therefore I would be an unfit mother (in my opinion). There are WAY TOO many unfit parents popping out babies.

68. Just because "everyone's doing it" doesn't mean I should too. There are a lot of shitty things that the majority of people do (e.g. cheating on partner).

69. You can't 69 with a pregnant belly (and lots of other physical activities).

70. People make a lot of assumptions about "mothers"...most of them are not favorable.

71. Women almost always hold the majority of the child-rearing burden, even when they are working just as much as their partner. Sounds like a shitty deal to me.

72. I feel empowered by the idea of having no children.

73. Home life will be less complicated, less chaotic, and much easier to negotiate.

74. I can buy a nicer house, in a more desirable location with less bedrooms. I will naturally have more space with less people living in it. Also I don't have to live in the suburbs in order to find a "safe, kid-friendly neighborhood in a good school district."

75. My idea of romance, passion, excitement, & adventure are in direct contradiction to a life with children.

75. All the idiots are having children. Coincidence? I think not.

76. Having children is a quick, easy way to create meaning in ones life. So is religion. I enjoy creating my own meaning in life and feel invigorated by the uncertainty of what that meaning is. Asks anyone with kids what gives them meaning in life. 9 times out of 10 it is their children. Sounds like a cop-out to me. "Oh woh is me, something is missing in my life, where is my meaning? Oh I know, I need to have kids!! Now that's the ticket!" (I think I just puked in my mouth a little bit).

77. I do not believe having children with someone brings you closer together, nor does it solve any of your relationship problems. If anything, it exacerbates them.

78. Family of origin issues become more pronounced and unmanageable as a couple tries to negotiate the proper way to raise children (based on their own childhood experiences/philosophies). Seriously there is enough to negotiate when you try to join two people together...and this component is one of the most difficult/ingrained of them all. I'll pass.

79. I like to think outside of the box. And I'd prefer not to have any creatures crawl out of my box!

80. Speaking of which, there is nothing beautiful about a screaming, bloody baby being squeezed out of a gaping snatch. Period.

81. To me, a fetus is more like a parasite.

82. The world does not need me to have children, there are plenty of other baby-crazies to take on that role.

83. Who wants to bring a life into this world: global warming, scarcity of resources, shitty economy, war, oppression. These things are only going to get worse before they get better. I think I'm doing my unborn children a favor, at least until this ridiculous human race can figure it's shit out.

84. The world is so expansive. I'd prefer to spend the majority of my time looking/exploring outward, than turning inward to a family.

85. I have enough family & friends to give love to and receive love from. No need for babies to reach my "love quota."

86. Quality of relationships always outweighs quantity for me. No need for babies!

87. There are many ways to have "a family" beyond the quintessential Husband/Wife + 2 kids.

88. I like to be unique. It's pretty unique to go through life with no children.

89. My humor, swearing & perversion are all way too inappropriate for little ones. These are things I do not want to hide in my personal life.

90. Any mundane/simple task becomes more complicated when children are involved. Grocery stores, restaurants. Think about it.

91. I like to have alone time from time to time. It keeps a person sane. How much alone time do you think a mom gets? Very little.

92. On the corollary, my social life is extremely important to me. How much time do you think a mom has for friends? Even less than for alone time.

93. I like going on dates & weekend-getaways with my boyfriend. How much time do you think a mom has for that? Very, very little.

94. Why would I waste the prime time of my life on having babies??!! I have worked so hard to get where I am. Why would I throw it all away & sacrifice my freedom, financial security, etc. just when I have achieved it?

95. It's fun to shock, surprise, & horrify people when they find out I don't want kids. It is a good wake-up call for people to stop assuming & stereotyping.

96. Most kids are self-centered, spoiled brats, at least at some time or another. I do not have the patience.

97. I already have "babies": they're called my pets & bf. Those are plenty to take care of and way more fun than real babies!!!

98. No matter how great of a parent you are or how much $$ you have, it is still possible to get a "bad apple." What a scary thought!

99. I really don't want to become one of those annoying people who always talks about their baby, thinks they are the greatest/cutest and tries to make everyone else think the same thing.

100. There is way more to life than having babies!

101. I've weighed all the positive options of having children as well as the negatives. Sorry folks, it's just not worth it!!!!!!